Sealed with kisses.
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Hi. My name is zhixian.
I love basketball.
I eat bugs.
Do note that unconstructive comments will be ignored,
I only talk to civilized people.

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Friday, February 6, 2009, 8:36 PM


It's going to be fine. Everything will go accordingly, nothing will ever go wrong again. Trust me. It's going to be alright, it's going to turn out fine...

I WISHED.



FAT HOPE.

-

Am I sad? Am I happy? Well, I don't even know. I can only cherish those happy times and embrace those sad ones. Ugh. Negative thoughts are piling in my brain. I want to think(will) all of them out.

Yah loh, sigh. I very jialat. And blur. And weak. And alot of nonsense. Dunno why but it's bothering me alot. Being jialat, blur, klutz, weak.

I can't even pass.

How am I to play?

I'm not even sure where I stand. (I don't mean stand on court. -_-)

-

Daddy wanted me to quit bball after this year. I just kept quiet. I wouldn't let him have his way. If I replied, goddamn. Another quarrel. Why wouldn't I just sacrifice my rights?

Keeps everything down. Been like that since young. No say in the family. It's okay, I've gotten use to it.

-

Left shoebag on Dad's car. Called and ask him to bring it for me. Waited like mad woman outside cause gates were closing.

Stupid.

-

Mood-less after training. Thinking about the zone defence. I can't figure it out, someone enlighten me? What went wrong? I forget to switch over? Sometimes even I hate myself.

Tmrw's hike training got cancelled. Was looking forward to it actually. Well, goes to show. Things don't always go your way.

-

Emo all the way home.

-


I WANT TO SCREAM. I WANT TO CRY. I WANT TO TALK. I WANT TO SHOUT. I WANT EVERYTHING TO GO RIGHT. Why is God bothering me? Fuck you, God. (I'm not catholic, sorry.)

Will someone be by my side?

-

I laugh and I smile and act like nothing bad has ever happened to me. Anybody stopped and think that, what do I care for?

-

WTH, nonsense.

-

I want someone I can bare my heart to. Maybe the wall will do fine, am I right? Walls never have emotions. Aren't they lucky? No love, no hate, no troubles.

-

Everything will be fine. I wish for the best. There are still some things which I have no more energy to resolve anymore. I don't want to think so much, I don't want to read too much into it. It may turn out to be a gimmick afterall. I don't want to fall again.

-

When all is said and heard (and done).

-

Bye.

To be fulfilled.
I'm hopeless, I know.
Futile.
To no avail.
I can just say I'm sorry.

It's zero now. Zero, everything. Because, I've learnt to let go of things not meant to be mine.

PS: Connection sucks. Line terminated these days. Fuck Singtel. What did I pay you for!