Sealed with kisses.
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Hi. My name is zhixian.
I love basketball.
I eat bugs.
Do note that unconstructive comments will be ignored,
I only talk to civilized people.

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Sunday, December 28, 2008, 9:41 PM


Blow me away. Is it too late for regrets?

Maybe I sort of figured out how Buddha achieved enlightment under the Bodhi tree. Ytd, it suddenly came to me, yes, indeed. Greed, love(those bad kind), desires and such are causing us suffering. Desires and greed, causes people to vie for status, for money. Love causes closed one to fall out with on another. Everything happens for a reason.

It dawned on me, what will happen if everyone in bball team was Buddha who had no desires to win, god, we will lose then.

Conclusion: People who desires to win cannot be Buddha, period.

-
Okay, ZhiRui's birthday today. :D Uber cute. CJ7 cake. Haha. Aunt gave us $50 each cause she striked lottery. :D 3rd prize! :D Hoho!

I don't want to think about things anymore(not all, ofc). I want to have the power to sort everything out. To preside over things, to make change. But that's not ever going to happen. People think differently. It's not what you show but what they think, isn't it?

Some think it's for show, some people don't simply bother, some people thought it was hardwork, all kinds of thinking. Life differ's. Imagine me leading your life.

Sigh.

Kind of sad recently. Not those moody sad but inner sadness. Ugh. I hope nothing'd changed.

It's fading, everyhing. Nothing last. Nothing's for eternity.

School is reopening and damned hmwks are still... mid-way.

Okay. Sunburnt. ._."
-
Ytd was super slack. Just sitting around, chit-chatting. O_o

I'm super confused. I shan't think anymore further. Life frightens me too much.

How some people can be so superficial, how gullible I am, how I simply give too much in a friendship that may not had existed to you, so people backstabs without battling an eyelid, how I can't face setbacks and betrayals, how I can't find anyone I can talk heart-to-heart to, how nobody is close enough for me to break down in front of them, how nobody notices, how everybody assumes I am happy, how nobody sees the struggle in me everyday, how invisible I am.

How life is so frightening.

Moodless.

This post don't make too much sense so don't put too much thought on it. It kills brain cell. It's making you stupid. Your IQ just dropped.

Bye, nights.
XOXO,
my past.

CRAP.